heart-breaking news: tony blasé still not expelled from british labour party

following an official disciplinary hearing - repeatedly and indefinitely postponed since the outset of the illegal iraq war - it has tonight been announced, by a spoke in the never-ending neo-conservative weal of socialist dialectical manipulation, that, despite the quite distinct electoral advantage which would inevitably be accrued thereby, former prime-minister tony blasé will, as-it-happens, not be thrown smirk-face-first out of the labour party, and nor will he be hung out to dry on the psycho's picket-line as a pithy poetic prelude to having his bollocks painfully employed for the purposes of playing cross-parliamentary ping-pong competitions.

indeed, according to a pretty correct and well-formed source of conventional wisdom within corbyn komsomol pressure-group more-mental, editors at spark up! further understand the extra-double-dextra-fundamental left-wing ideological position to be thus:

"whilst all true socialists appreciate that blasé is a serial wog-bombing bastard, who has assisted in the commission of a truly sick spectrum of ultra-heinous crimes against humanity, ranging from the culpable genocide of arabs in iraq, and of asians in afghanistan, right through to chronic, cruel and calculated nitrogen dioxide gas-attacks unleashed against his own british people - which were allegedly effected by employing dodgy diesel-powered wagons-of-mass-destruction as a preferred delivery system - we, as loyal labour members, none-the-less accept it to be firmly established labour party policy to ensure that former oil-primed minister mr blasé and his criminal neo-conservative accomplices never be brought to face justice of any form before any british court of law...

and, in light of this socially unconscious collective decision, we, as labour members, equally accept therefore that the british people will never again elect our nasty little neo-liberally corrupted party-on-a-cia-string to government...

we, as loyal members, instead envisaging labour purely as a pathetic party of professional perennial opposition.

wossat...?

err...so according to information provided by un petit chardonneret perched strategically upon the global gravy-strained grapevine of gratuitous gossip, tony and charming wife cheroot have, in addition to these afore-listed social misdemeanors, been busy co-ordinating with bomb-barmy buddies billy and hilly klondyke, the pentagon, mi6, as well as the royal families of quasar and swordy arabia, in an evil orchestrated effort to facilitate the clandestine arming of so-called islamic state also known as al qaeda also known as the cia...?

oh well, no-one's perfect, eh?"