Thursday 30 December 2010

curtailed words


timed-out reply to comment by flyswatter, 29 december 2010 2:57am, on the guardian article, ivory coast violence forces thousands to flee:

a) britain is a full-member of the european union.
b) there was in existence "free movement in all direction plus transcontinental trade" before slavery, colonialism, and democracy, and it did not come dependent upon conditions such as westernized laws, westernized taxes, westernized identification papers, and highly corruptible and unstable westernized systems of government which allow cynical discrimination against minorities.
c) the governmental systems of china, russia, and the united states were, by-and-large, developed internally by their own inhabitants, and not imposed by externally-based exploitative forces. in any case, i'm not a citizen of the afore-mentioned blocs, so why should i criticize the domestic arrangements in place there?

Wednesday 29 December 2010

clipped words


refined version of comment deleted from thread on the guardian article, three african presidents to deliver ultimatum to gbagbo in ivory coast:

"28 december 2010 12:16pm
yessir, this is a great opportunity for three respected african heads of state to get away from the missus for the weekend, get pissed-up in an expensive western hotel, and explore the possibilities of more amicable relations with ivorean chambermaids - all paid-for by the presidents of the united states of america, france, and several oil companies of unafrican origin.
as for the side-issue of the national election, this is a piece of toffee:
provide each adult ivorean citizen with one hershey bar and one mars bar - if the citizen prefers gbagbo as president, then he (or she) should leave the mars bar in the courtyard of monsieur gbagbo's official residence, and if the citizen would prefer to elect ouattara as president, then he (or she) should leave the hershey bar in front of the hotel occupied by monsieur ouattara. on completion of voting, each citizen should consume his (or her) remaining candy-bar in order to ensure a totally secret ballot in accordance with recognized international electoral procedure - and, finally, when the two polling stations are closed, each presidential candidate should scoff all chocolate bars cast before his personal place of abode. if either candidate should be observed either failing to ingest his full allocation of confectionery, or in any way attempting to encourage one of his deputies, or deputies' children, to nosh any portion of the aforesaid block of votes on his behalf, then that candidate shall be deemed in breach of electoral rules and shall be disqualified forthwith, forfeiting the said election without further formality. pursuant to both presidential candidates completing the ballot count, the duly appointed returning officer for toblerone shall weigh each man in a state of disrobement, and, subject to approval by nestlé independent monitors, shall proclaim the fattest cunt winner."

Thursday 9 December 2010

the assange analysis: pop-star or politician? confusion or corruption?


spark up! supports wikileaks' right to freedom of expression, on principle - and not least because it has revealed the extent of:

a) united states' interference in the democratic process in nigeria (on behalf of royal dutch shell plc)
b) united states' acquiescence regarding war-crimes committed by the ugandan military
c) united states' illicit air-strikes against alleged al qaeda targets in yemen which resulted in large numbers of civilian casulaties
d) united states' and british war-crimes in iraq
e) united states' and british war-crimes in afghanistan

moreover, if our governments exercize the right to control, tax, and snoop on us, as private citizens, it follows that we, as individuals, have every right to obtain knowledge of actions taken by our states in our name. after all...it's not as if we can trust them, is it?

however...in the (rape) case of julian assange versus the state of sweden, we must be clear that the defendant and his accusers are all acting as individuals, and that this is a personal matter - yet it appears that the defining lines between the state and the individual have become unhealthily blurred.

i am convinced that the defence team for mr assange (the founder of wikileaks) has made a serious miscalculation in crying 'political' (ie state), given that the case has arisen from extremely personal incidents involving individuals - if mr assange believes that this is a 'political' prosecution, then he must therefore believe that he himself is a political figure with political power akin to the power invested in the representative of a state. the fact that the work undertaken by his organization may have political implications is irrelevant here - unless he also claims that he consented to engage in a political fuck. i appreciate that mr assange's lawyers are attempting to stave-off the strong possibility of a politically motivated extradition attempt by the united states (in relation to his actions in his capacity as the head of wikileaks), but this is a separate matter (which involves many other protagonists), and should be treated as such - lest mr assange and his team wish to be tarred by the same accusations which they level at the state prosecutors.

in essence, mr assange has got himself into some trouble with two women who may, or may not, be proven to be scorned-and-vindictive lovers cynically taking advantage of sweden's peculiarly tight sex-laws and the super-sleuth's subconscious hankering for established political status - but he must deal with this situation as a fallible human individual, and not as an irreproachable infallible all-powerful political figurehead of the type which he professes to expose and discredit through his work. julian assange is not helping his case, nor endearing himself to supporters, by threatening, in the manner of a blackmailer, to make further damaging revelations in the event that action is taken against him - surely these revelations should be made regardless of third party actions, and without further ado, that is his job, and one for which he is admired. if the united states administration seeks to take advantage of the swedish prosecution in order to extradite mr assange, it is they who will lose the political initiative - and even more political standing than they already have done.

by intimidating companies which have elected not to do business with wikileaks, operation payback (which is being conducted by the group known as anonymous) is, by association, also damaging the reputation of mr assange, not to mention the prospects of the entire wikileaks venture - for the ideology of freedom is absolutely and irreparably undermined by attempting to coerce other self-governing organizations to support one's own cause; any private sector business ultimately has the right to chose its customers - herein is enshrined the concept known as liberty - and contractual disputes must be resolved in time-honoured fashion. the companies whom anonymous is targeting do not force any individual or organization to make use of their services, and, ipso facto, it is wholly immoral to gang up against and force such companies to serve any particular individual or organization, even though one's oppressor may be doing exactly that - those who use their power to bully others in this fashion are, by definition, no better than the fascist states which they claim to wish to depose. to undermine an authoritarian state is vital, but to replace it with a totalitarian one is fatal. to replace fear with fear is revolting, to replace the ideology of fear refreshing.

so it seems that julian assange wants to be a pop-star and politician all at the same time - but he can't, because the concept of each degrades the other. he's got to choose. the politician must have impeccable integrity and avoid sleeping with anarchists - otherwise no-one will grant him power and status; the pop-star must break every rule and never sleep within the boundaries of established society - otherwise he will not garner fame and fortune. contradictorily, the famous anarchist, julian assange, has been sleeping with the social-establishment and yet desires power - and he has now landed in purgatory. personally, i think he would do better selling his secrets and becoming an outlaw-star...

...but it's a free world...

give me a capitalist enterprise any day - at least you're told what you're getting for your money...but a non-profit-making company? who knows?

Tuesday 7 December 2010

assange extradition extra: clinton claims "wikileaks sex-monster raped me"


in a shocking new twist to the wikileaks exposure saga, secret white house diplomatic documents reveal that the secretary-in-a-state, mrs hillary rodham clinton, has accused frisky wikileaks fiend, julian assange, of abducting her to his secret mountain-top lair for a randy three-in-a-bed romp with his horny live-in kangaroo, "hoppy" (a doe). in a tearful heart-to-heart with bosom buddy michelle obama, mrs clinton is reported to have confessed: "assange imprisoned me in his lewdly lurid love-nest...reeled me into a trance by playing funky unamerican rhythms on his didgeridoo, ripped off all my designer fairtrade-cotton clothes, tied me down with incredibly strong cables, and then forced me to have sexual-relations with that animal whilst he joined in and ravished me senseless. it really was an absolutely indescribable experience".

when questioned over the allegations, mr assange asserted that he had "never touched the cross-hatched old crumpet", and exploding in exasperation, the postie-from-hell went on to explain: "look mate, she's stalked me all 'round the bloody globe under the pretence of carrying out covert soddin' surveillance vital to the interests of national soddin' security...when, in reality, the shagnasty sheila's just been after a doodle-on-me-donger...strewth". the pussy-cuted wikileaks founder wearily insists that he has rejected the secretary of state's ardant amorous advances on a multitude of occasions and that his hastily effected evasive action has usually resulted in the former first-lady becoming "as cranky as a deranged dingbat on drugs", baring her chest, and "wobbling her tits" at him.

update:

in a dramatic new development, white house officials have re-affirmed the administration's position that classified embassy communications should now only be disseminated on a strict "need-to-know" basis, and has vehemently denied suggestions that a warrant for mr assange's extradition has been issued in order for michelle and hillary to determine whether he is a real 'jules blonde'.

Monday 6 December 2010

government plans to evict brian haw from parliament square are simply bad-manners


out of respect for the millions of middle-eastern civilian dead, i daresay that brian haw (the stubborn peace-protester who has been encamped opposite the houses of parliament since the nato invasion of afghanistan in 2001) would probably not regard his stance of non-movement as a 'success', yet his actions have undoubtedly helped break-the-back of public opinion with regard to our government's futile and pernicious wars of occupation-cum-exploitation in iraq, afghanistan and pakistan...

...and as any decent snooker player knows...one should never interrupt an opponent (by conceding the game) whilst he is compiling a winning 'break'...it's not considered good etiquette...and certainly not commensurate with the conduct of a gentleman...

...but david cameron, boris johnson, and nick clegg are not gentlemen...and home secretary, theresa may, is no lady...because they and their gang fully intend to steam-roller new laws through parliament with the sole aim of booting mr haw and his tiny band of co-campers from their pitch before signalling the inevitable withdrawal of beleaguered british troops from the war-zone.

our politicians are not only (war) criminals...but also uncouth yobs - they have no respect for the moral determination of the citizens who form our democracy...they dishonour the memory of all those service-men and -women whom they have sent to their untimely deaths...and they defecate upon the souls of those innocent foreign families whom they have had slaughtered in the name of cheap...crude...oil.

howard flight fights for middle-classes' right to be paid for sex


aghast at the invidious socio-political consequences of the re-jigged welfare state, the new conservative peer, howard flight, has demanded equal nookie-remuneration for the "well-orff" via the child-benefit-system. in a shocking betrayal of his party's traditional principles, the former member of parliament for arundel and south downs has done the dirty and crossed to the other side of the house to sow his wild socialist oats - claiming that he "doesn't give a fuck" about the commonly prevailing philosophy which holds that poor people deserve more state-funded financial stimuli because they have more 'how's your father'. the champion of a better class of bonking, mr flight, has been described by friends as being 'extremely frustrated' by the current situation, and has expressed the view that the new regulations are "effectively an undercover coalition-condom on the british bourgeousie". responding to the concerns raised by his angry party member, the prime minister, mr david cameron, has promised to introduce "ultra-sensitive" tax-breaks on all forms of over-the-counter family-contraceptives, but vows to stand firm on core conservative values in respect of piece-work rates for proletarian promiscuity.

Wednesday 1 December 2010

clipped words


comment deleted from captain ranty blog ('gratuitous snowy sex' thread):

""red edit" miliband (mob-rule) said...
21:42
i wouldn't take the pee out of diane if i were you...we'll use our secret network of activists to organize a massive 5-year-long campaign of harrassment against you - this will include: the planting of highly illegal covert surveillance equipment in your bog, your bedroom and your shower, intimidation (physical and mental), blackmail, and widespread smearing; your housemates, acquaintances and close friends will be encouraged to spy on you and fuck-up your life, your phone and computer will be tapped, eavesdropped, and hacked 24 hours a day, you will be tracked everywhere, snotty interns will be posted near your address to monitor your intellectual and sexual output (which will then be relayed back to you via spam e-mail), you will be befriended by undercover party members who will do everything possible to waste your time and energy, and you will be appointed a minder whose task will be to "control" you; schoolteachers, jobcentre staff, working links new deal advisors, council workers, and social security fraud investigators will be briefed to make your life as uncomfortable as possible; serving and retired civil service fraud officers will moonlight in order to supervize operations against you, your identity will be stolen, your writing plagiarized, and the proceeds split between the mob - and if your marriage is on the rocks, we will happily hammer home the final nails into its coffin-lid by inducing family members (sympathetic to the cause) to make your life hell. you will be falsely deemed a 'threat to national security' by the security services, and our actions will receive the full backing of our friends in the white house...and all because the lady loves the labour party...but hey...that's socialism*.
[*a philosophy which, along with personal political ambition, is obviously of far greater importance than any notion of simple humanity, for god's sake. you are a mere private citizen without any political affiliation: pay your taxes that we may enjoy and abuse the fruits of your graft and invention, shut your mouth, and do as you're told by party members (your social superiors).]"

copied to: diane abbott, david cameron, ed miliband, nick clegg


update 01.12.10 17.47hrs:

comment now mysteriously re-instated on captain ranty blog...